For a man-a man like me i guess, the most critical questions before marriage is understanding in a worse case scenario, will you be the first to slap or the first to receive the slap. If it is later, my friend-you are neither ready for marriage nor are you with the right person………it is imperative at some point for a man to be a man and when you cannot be a man then that marriage will be one very hot bed for you.
Don’t get me wrong, am not an advocate for domestic violence, as a matter of fact i abhor the act and the fact that one person will choose to physically abuse someone who has chosen her life to spend with you is such an evil act that i find no words to address it.
But the question-the biggest question is understanding where the problem started from and finding ways to avert the crisis before it reaches melt down. Domestic violence does not only hurt the person such violence is meted upon but the entire society. A society just like a house is built brick by brick by individual families. When we then start breaking up these bricks one family a time we end up having such a distorted society that lacks in morals and has nothing to offer future generations.
Just watched an ad where a male partner is being physical with his wife on the street and everyone wanted to beat him up-but when the very same couple reversed roles on the same street (different people) and it showed the woman beating the man, everyone laughed.
I mean, it is such a sickly act for a man to beat a woman he is married to that people want to lynch such a man or have the police arrest him…but give the other coin and the woman is beating up the man silly and all over a sudden, it becomes funny.
Violence is a sickly act regardless of who is on the receiving end. Marriage is such a gift from God that he personally gave it to us. Unlike animals, birds etc it is only humans who enjoy the gift of marriage. The whole process is such a high profile event that all religions respect it.
The world should wake up to the reality that some men are being abused, forced, tricked or blackmailed into situations that are favourable to the female party and quite unfavourable to the male and in shame decide to cower and live as such.
I am one of those men who would rather have anger eat me up than quarrel a man or a woman even in a seemingly easy situation that i need to respond to.
I guess of the before marriage questions i will be seriously looking at, between me and her, who will most easily be the first to slap the other and if it is her-then am running away.
Again, not advocating for domestic violence but it would not kill spending a little more time finding the right person than rushing into the wrong arms.