Don’t just marry anything

BY Pam K. Kilemi

Don’t just marry anything (I mean anybody)!

Many young people are so particular about the clothes they wear, the food they eat, the career that they want to follow, etc, but they are so reckless when it comes to choosing a life partner.

Who you will marry will not only have a major impact in your marriage but will have a major impact in your happiness in this life. There is nothing that can bring so much distress, depression and unhappiness in someone’s life like marriage. 　Even if you decide to end the marriage (divorce) you might still end up with permanent wounds or scars in your life.

Marriage has many challenges; bringing together people from different backgrounds, different personalities and with different expectations is not easy. We are bound to have some conflicts and challenges in marriage. Even if you marry an angel (unfortunately angels don’t marry) you’ll still have some challenges, but if you marry the devil you must know that your life will be a living hell. There are many devils that are out there and some are in the church, they can preach, teach, sing and pray and then prey on innocent victims. As a results there are many who are living in hell (marriages). The Bible says to young people: Be sober, be vigilant!

Look beyond what is on the outside

There are some who decide to marry someone because he drives a nice car, yet I wonder if they think the marriage will be lived inside the car. Some marry guys because they are good soccer players, and I wonder if they think there is a need for pots and plates to be kicked around in the house. Some marry girls just because they have a pretty face, and I wonder if they think that just looking at the pretty face will automatically resolve conflicts and improve communications Some only look at the beautiful figures not knowing that nature and time has a way of destroying those figures. In Proverbs 31:30, the wise man says: “Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing, But a woman who fears the LORD, she shall be praised.”

Work on your own project.

Even in our churches it seems like everybody is always looking forward to marrying the church’s celebrities, those who are smooth, well dressed and smart. Unfortunately many of them are not very serious with God. Yet in our churches they are some young people who are very serious with God, they might not be in the lime light, they might not even know how to dress properly, not as smooth as others. I call them projects. Instead of following the celebrities it is better to go and get your own project. For a person who is not serious with God there is not much you can do, even marriage cannot change that person. There is no salvation in marriage (it is only in Jesus). But if he /she loves the Lord, but just does not know latest style and romantic moves, there is much you can do. Pick that project and work on it in your own pace.

Don’t be desperate.

Many of our young ladies are so desperate to get married such that they end up marrying anything that looks like a man. If you think being single is bad then you are ignorant of what is really going on in marriages. More than 50% of those who are married wish they were like you (single). There is definitely something worse than being single. I always say to young ladies that the most miserable women that I have come across are not single, but they are married, married to horrible men (or they themselves are horrible to those men). Many are so desperate to get married and soon thereafter they are so desperate to get out of marriage.

Be Mr or Mrs Right.

I grew up in the time when the topic for every youth gathering was, how to find a marriage partner. We used to leave those gatherings all set to go and look for a marriage partner, going to look for Mr Right and Mrs Right. Now, this thing never worked, it does not work because you can never find a marriage partner. In Proverbs 19: 14 the Bible says “Houses and riches are an inheritance from fathers, But a prudent wife is from the LORD”. Only the Lord can give you a prudent (sensible) wife. Therefore instead of looking for Mr and Mrs Right, be Mr. Right, Be Mrs. Right (as long as you don’t think your first name is Always). Live the life, be the best young person you can ever be and God will give you what you deserve. But if you are a crook, dishonest, unfaithful and unreliable, guess what? There is a match waiting for you. 　You can’t cheat God; you are definitely going to reap what you have sown.　 You will always get what you deserve.

Some young people have already made a mess of their lives. The good news is that it is not too late. If you come to Jesus today, He will rewrite you past, change your present and prepare a great tomorrow for you.