Don’t be a nickel out here looking for a dime

3 min


Oh let the wickedness of the wicked come to an end; but establish the just: for the righteous God trieth the hearts and reins. My defence is of God, which saveth the upright in heart. Psalm 7:9-10

We have all heard someone say, “They deserve each other.” Whether that’s in a good way or bad, it is true. You marry who you deserve. When you get married, it is not a mistake.

Personally, this scares me.

We all dream of marrying a prince or princess and living “happily ever after.” Some dreamy person makes all of our dreams come true. Someone kind, caring, and who puts others first. Someone who is hardworking and honest. Someone who  doesn’t give up when times get tough, and someone who is prepared to be faithful and true to you and only you. That sounds so great.

But how can we expect all these things of our future spouse if we are not willing to be those things ourselves? Why do we think that a person with those character traits should have to settle for us? Why should they receive a spouse who is anything less than all the good things that they are?

Bottom line, you have to be who you are looking to find. Don’t be a nickel out here lookin’ for  a dime.

Because it’s just not going to happen. You aren’t going to find this “perfect” person with all these great traits, and suddenly become those things yourself. You have to BE that person now.

If I want someone who is kind and caring, I have to be kind and caring.
If I want someone who is hardworking and honest, I have to work hard and be honest.
If I want someone who does their best and doesn’t give up, I have to do my best and not give up.
If I want someone who is actively pursuing Jesus Christ,  I have to actively pursue Christ.
If I want someone who is going to be faithful and true to me… Guess what? I have to be faithful and true to them.

Ok, hold up, how can I be faithful and true to my husband or wife if I have not even met them yet??

I’m so glad you asked. Do you ever think about your future spouse in the decisions you make on a daily basis? Do you ever think to put them and their feelings ahead of yours right now? I do. Because I sure hope my husband is out there thinking of me….. how romantic…. :]

Girls, you can start respecting and making your husband happy and proud of you right now. Guys, you can start honoring your wife and treating her how she deserves to be treated today! In the decisions you make daily, you can respect your spouse, you can honor them, and you can show them your love.

*When you get dressed in the morning, ask yourself, “Would my husband be proud to be with me in this outfit?”

*When you are out and see another girl dressed inappropriately, ask yourself, “Would my wife feel honored with what I’m letting into my eyes and mind right now?”

*When you are on that date, ask yourself, “Would my future spouse be pleased with how I’m conducting myself right now?”

*Before you let that guy put his hands on you, ask yourself, “Would my husband be respected in the way that I’m  allowing myself to be treated right now?”

*Before you watch that video on the internet, ask yourself, “Am I honoring my wife and protecting her heart and her purity by viewing this?”

How would it make you feel to know that YOUR future spouse was regarding you and your feelings in their everyday decisions.. even right now?

People, we have got to raise our standards. We can not expect expect to receive this wonderful person as a spouse if we are not trying to be all that we can be in Christ for the good of ourselves, our future spouse, and, ultimately, for the glory of God. We can not expect to be the person that they deserve if we don’t work on all the things we would like to have as part of our marriage.

Simply put, if you wouldn’t want your future spouse to be doing it right now, don’t do it!! And, if it is something that you would want your future spouse to be doing, well then, you have to do it yourself.

If we conduct ourselves in this way, we will definitely be challenged to do more for God, keep ourselves from bad decisions, honor our future spouses, and grow closer to God as a result.

Everybody wins.

Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap. For he that south to his flesh shall of the flesh reap corruption; but he that south to the Spirit shall of the spirit reap life everlasting. And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not. Galations 6:7-9

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