Questions a Girl Should Ask Before Marriage

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Husbands Should not be Over-bearing

Many make light of the Heaven-appointed institution of marriage, and after it has been entered into thoughtlessly, without a true sense of its sacredness, the obligations it imposes are often shamefully disregarded. Frequently a man who is entirely ignorant of the wants of one of the opposite sex, of the treatment she should receive, takes her under his proposed protection when his influence and his temperament are to her a desolating hail, beating down her will and her aspirations, and leaving her no freedom of mind or judgement. Ignoring her personal rights, he becomes unkind and authoritative. Her individuality is lost in his, and she becomes the slave of his caprice and passions, as though she had naught to do but to obey his whims. (54)

He may even quote texts of Scripture to show that he is the head, and that he must be obeyed in all things. He feels that his wife belongs to him, and that she is subject to his order and dictation. But who gives him the right to thus dictate and condemn.? Is it the law of God, which commands him to love God with all his heart, and his neighbour as himself? No; there is no moral or religious defence for such unjust authority. The same Bible that prescribes the duty of the wife, prescribes also the duty of the husband. It says, “Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them.”[Colossians 3:19] The husband is to be kind and affectionate. He is to love his wife as a part of himself, and to cherish her as Christ does his Church. (55)

Both Parties are Responsible

While women want men of strong and noble characters, whom they can respect and love, these qualities need to be mingled with tenderness and affection, patience and forbearance. The wife should in her turn be cheerful, kind, and devoted, assimilating her taste to that of her husband as far as it is possible to do without losing her individually. Both parties should cultivate patience and kindness, and that tender love for each other that will make married life pleasant and enjoyable. (56)


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