Sexual intimacy in marriage is critical to a healthy, happy relationship between husband and wife. Along with the emotional, intellectual, and spiritual aspects, God designed husband and wife to enjoy the experience of sexual intimacy in marriage: intimacy, as we’ve just defined it, is the ultimate human experience!
Love, marriage, and sex are the three building blocks making sexual intimacy possible. Love—contrary to the vast majority of songs on the radio about this topic—is about meeting the needs of others, and is not about self-gratification. Obviously, you don’t need marriage to have sex; but you certainly do need marriage to experience the authentic, “10 on the Richter Scale” sex God intended!
Love, sex, and marriage without the relational emphasis is just the sexual act; it leaves people empty, dissatisfied, and feeling guilty. This explains just one reason why pornography (even apart from the terrible psychological addiction), is so destructive: it delivers a momentary, addictive pleasure without the core dimension of intimacy.The Dangers of Pornography
The Four C’s of Sexual Intimacy in Marriage:
1. Communication
Frustration accumulates when a husband and/ or wife are not able to communicate about problems, desires, fears, or a host of other regularly unspoken issues that impact their sexual experience.
Communication allows difficult topics to be openly discussed. What if the wife has no interest in sex? On the other hand, is there freedom to share sexual fantasies with your spouse? Can both partners openly share what they think about their sex life, as well as every other part of their lives?
2. Caring
Caring for your partner means providing them with the sexual experience that pleases them, on their terms, in their way, in their time frame. A husband caring for his wife might mean he focuses on slow and gentle caresses, speaking of her beauty and his love for her, or perhaps practicing giving a full body massage!
3. Commitment
Commitment to sexual intimacy in marriage involves doing what is necessary to achieve it, and eliminating whatever is necessary that impedes it. Commitment also translates into time: you must prioritize your time for sex since busyness is one factor that always gets in the way.
4. Common Values
Intimacy will not be produced when values held by husband and wife are in conflict. The article Are We Compatible? deals with the issues of beliefs, core values, mutual perspective, and shared goals.
