Millions are lured into the dangers of pornography through the internet pornography’s easy accessibility, accompanied by the perception of privacy and anonymity. Cyber porn is highly addictive and extremely detrimental to intimacy in a marriage.
With over 95% of viewers being male, porn’s effect on intimacy is complicated since it is easy for wives to underestimate its bad effects. As a barrier to intimacy, habitually viewing pornography sets up formidable walls between couples: guilt, unrealistic sexual expectations, addictive behaviours, and the erosion of trust, to name just a few.
Consider the following stats on porn*:
- Pornographic websites: 4.2 million (12% of total)
- Daily search engine requests for porn: 68 million (25% of total search engine requests)
- Daily porn emails: 2.5 billion (8% of total emails).
- Internet users who view porn: 42.7%
- Websites offering illegal child porn: 100,000
- Monthly Internet Porn Sales: $4.9 billion
- Every second: 28, 258 internet users are viewing porn
- Every 39 minutes: a new porn movie is created in the United States
*Stats are by Jerry Ropelato at Internet Filter Review.
Here are just a few of the dangers of pornography:
Addiction:
The experience of sexual arousal can be intense when viewing pornography, and as a result, an addiction can be very easily formed. To respond to the body’s urges for “another hit” reinforces a habit that becomes extremely difficult to break. The combined physical and psychological responses to pornography make it “the crack cocaine of sexual addiction”.
Addiction itself develops through progressively dangerous stages: addiction, escalation, desensitization, and then acting out sexually. The dangers of pornography are evident with every stage more destructive than the one before.
Destruction of Intimacy:
Intimacy is based on trust and commitment. The dangers of pornography can be seen as a constant erosion of those values and qualities. Almost without exception, husbands keep their addiction to porn a secret from their wives. Over the long term, the results are guilt and isolation: the husband retreats emotionally and finds himself in a barrenness of soul. He has lost any intimacy that he was experiencing with his wife, and has discovered that pornography initially excites but, without fail, disappoints.
Sex without intimacy is hollow and futile. Yet within the framework of intimacy, sex is an awesome way for a husband and wife to connect emotionally and physically: it has the ability to provide true intimacy, joy, and sexual satisfaction!
Decreased Excitement and Satisfaction:
Research has shown that repeated exposure to pornography not only results in a diminished sexual arousal but also a decreased satisfaction with the sexual partner and the partner’s sexuality
Despair:
The dangers of pornography come with a hidden price tag! Many men involve themselves in porn to try to fill some need, or simply out of a curiosity—and then quickly discover they are being controlled by a destructive habit. By this stage, intervention from the outside is usually necessary. Confiding in a trusted friend or counselor is the first step of the journey to become free. Unfortunately for men who try to hide their addiction, there is a spiraling dynamic of guilt, emptiness, isolation, and perverted thinking that takes place. The end of such a spiral is despair.
Warped Thinking and Desensitization:
Pornography leaves the impression that sex is unrelated to love, commitment or marriage; and that irresponsible sex has no undesirable penalties. Desensitization of rape as a crime, misconceptions about the popularity of certain sexual practices, and a decrease in the care of female sexuality are additional effects of repeated viewing of pornography.
The dangers of pornography lead to men finding more than they bargained for when starting down the path of cyber porn. For those men looking for freedom from this addiction, help is available! First, a man must recognize his sin, and turn to the Lord Jesus for forgiveness. With this awareness of forgiveness, he needs to enter into accountability relationships with other Christian men who have also found freedom over pornography. The dangers of pornography can be overcome, and a man once ensnared by cyber porn will be able to experience a new life of intimacy with his wife.