It’s amazing what a good woman can do for a man. She can literally spark the changes that set a man on the path to his destiny. I know men who looked dry and dull during their years in the wilderness of bachelorhood. Literally like they had been on a steady diet of sand and bones but once a good woman walked into their lives, lo and behold, everything changed. When a good woman arrives, men’s fortunes change, they get polished.
Unfortunately, the reverse is also true. Woe unto you oh blind simpleton if you choose to marry a discouraging, disrespectful, contentious battle ax. Your fortunes will dwindle, your hairline will recede, your collarbone will be robbed of flesh and your eyeballs will pop out like popcorns. You will chew your nails until they are no more and will talk to yourself as you walk on the road alone. Your misery will know no bounds. You will dread going home and you will be robbed of your peace. In short, you will be finished.
A number of people get married without proper knowledge and insight on the nature of the institute they are walking into. If employers insist on a certain degree of experience and training before they get into an employer-employee relationship with anyone, surely some study and training ought to be done before jumping the broom. The casual attitude with which some people approach marriage might be the same reason why the divorce rate has spiraled out of control. Once the honeymoon expires, many begin to sleep on a bed made of thorns and live in a house full of broken glass.
In light of this I thought I would pen down a few thoughts on my perspective of what any right thinking man ought to check for when looking for a potential bride.
There are days when things will only work in your life when you pray. Regardless of how smart or connected you are, sometimes prayer is the only way forward. In such times, a man needs someone who can stand with him when he decides to call on heaven to come through for him. You need a lady who prays for you. A lady who tarries in prayer for your family and knows that any future that is built on God will last and is worth more than a ton of gold.
And so I want a God fearing woman, not a religious one. I want a woman who genuinely loves God and not one who confesses Him with her lips but rejects Him in her heart.
People are different. And marriage is made up of two different people becoming one. There is bound to be rough edges that need to be made straight. To make the process seamless, there must be some level of compatibility in terms of interests, vision, temperament etc. I have listed some of the qualities that are important. You can add yours here:
I dread the prospect of having to come home to a pugnacious woman who has been impatiently stirring the pot of war all day waiting for me to arrive so that she can serve me the deadly brew of her belligerence. I want a woman whose words are seasoned with peace and love. A woman whose gentle kindness reminds me of the Rachel in the Bible who out of the kindness of her heart offered her husband-to-be, Jacob, a drink of cold water when she first met him at a well, worn out by his grueling journey across the desert in search of a bride. I want a gentle soul. Correction I need a gentle soul. All men do. My fervent prayer is that I would never cross paths with women who have taken an oath to live a life of hostility and verbal combat.
Regardless of the magnitude of any disagreement, a good woman is one who always seeks to make her relationship better by amicably seeking solutions for any challenges her marriage may face.
Article written by Dannish Odongo. Used with permission.