Wedding Gift Amount Deemed Insufficient By Bad-Mannered Bride

2 min

Mat 24:12 And because iniquity shall abound, the love of many shall wax cold.

Personally I love weddings but present day weddings have been turned into some sort of crowdfunding to kick start your marriage putting undue burden to friends and family who, just as you, equally have lots of responsibilities to attend to.

Many couples would set an obscene budget for their wedding and appoint a wedding committee tasked with raising those funds. Invitation cards for the wedding would be hawked around to even strangers. Our happy day, please support us. While the contributions are marketed as voluntary, the people tasked with raising the funds make it their job to drain you down with reminders and due dates until you unwillingly give out.

But one bride took it a notch higher after one of her guests gift was a little ‘lower’ than she had anticipated. The guest – an ex-colleague of the bride – professed herself ‘gobsmacked’ that the couple had been rude enough to bemoan her £100 contribution in response for cash gifts.

Last weekend I attended a wedding of a not-close friend with my boyfriend and as a gift we gave $100 cash. This was generous considering my financial situation. I just finished university with $40,000 in student loans, and have only found part time (12-18 hrs per week) minimum wage work. I gave as much as I could and attended to show my support.

Today I received a rude and condescending message from the bride via Facebook messenger: “Hi Tanya, how are you? I just want to know is there any reason or dissatisfaction of Mike’s and I wedding that both you and Phil gave 50$ each? In terms of the amount we got from you both was very unexpected as a result we were very much short on paying off the reception because just for the cocktail + reception alone the plate per person is 200$ (as per a normal wedding range with open bar is about) and Mike and I both have already paid for everything else including decor, photography, attire etc and didn’t expect we had to cover that huge amount for reception as well. As I know you both live together and work, so I did not see any reason for that amount, when it comes to your wedding hopefully you’ll know what I mean. I hope for the best as from what we receive is what we will give back. Anyways, good luck on everything.”[all sic]

It’s infuriating that she had the nerve to make assumptions about my finances, and assume that I or my boyfriend had an extra $400 lying around. Those $100 were hard-earned and she didn’t show an ounce of gratitude for what she did receive. That money didn’t grow on a tree. If she had a minimum gift requirement, she should have specified it…or asked everyone for income statements before inviting them.

Wedding etiquette expert and HuffPost blogger Xochitl Gonzalez commented on the Facebook message, saying that it’s one of the most classless stories she’s ever heard.

“There is no obligation of a guest to give a gift to a party to which they are invited, not even a wedding,” she wrote in an email. “Though not required, it is a very nice thing to do, but there is certainly no base guideline for what you should give AND finally, it’s certainly outrageous to question the amount, let alone the gift. There is a disgusting trend emerging where people are not only passing judgment about the gifts they receive, but they are verbalizing it — even on the Bravo show ‘Newlyweds,’ they showed one of the grooms mocking guests on TV for being ‘cheap with gifts.’ It’s classless and tacky.”

1Ti_6:10  For the love of money is the root of all evil: which while some coveted after, they have erred from the faith, and pierced themselves through with many sorrows.

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